Autumn Morning

Autumn morning
The mist rises from the river
As praise to the Creator;
Of the new dawn
And the goldening leaves.

Friends

Friends
Blooms of a season
Sweet aromas, bright colours
Then, pressed between
Pages of memories
Preserved forever.

I do not like this distance

I feel alone. I know that I am not but there is a distance between me and God that I do not like. Because it is this distance that makes me feel alone.

When I let the voices of loneliness take over my inner ears they begin to overwhelm other parts of me. As the lonely feelings become stronger, I begin to hear the voice of self doubt and of worthlessness. Then fear sets in.

I want to get back to where I hear God. Jesus said that his perfect love casts out fear. I know this and I do not like to be afraid.

I want to be back close to God. I want to be in her arms. I want her to cradle me like her small child and whisper in my ear that she loves me and always has. I want to feel her hugging me tightly.

I want Jesus to tell me that he would not have died for a creature that he did not love.

Today, I went out to take some photos of the beautiful sunset over the river bank. I saw God there tonight, in the beauty of the sky. I heard him faintly calling me back to this kind of space where I seem to hear him most easily. I need to quiet myself and listen. My ears don’t seem to pick up his voice clearly when I am busy or tired and especially not when I become preoccupied with myself.

Nineteeth Street Blues

I’m just sitting on my doorstep

In this dreary part of town

Playing the Nineteenth Street Blues.

My pathway lights have been bashed out

My car’s been vandalized

I daren’t let my children out to play.

We’ve called the cops too many times

And now they just don’t come

I guess they think that folks like us don’t count.

I park my car and hide inside

My baby at my side.

Out on my street I know that danger’s near.

We’re tied in knots with mortgages

We can’t get free of that

The house is great, it’s just the neighborhood.

And selling’s not an option now

Who’d want to buy this place

With neighbors like we have across the street?

So I lift my voice in plaintive note

That no one wants to hear.

Crying my Nineteenth Street Blues.

Free Me

I want to go deeper God.
I want to go in
To the Holy of Holies
To the place where you shine
And have my face reflect you.

But, I cower in the dimness outside
The veil that you rent.
Too afraid, too tightly
Clinging to my self.
Chains on my feet.

If I push the torn curtain aside
Take a faltering step
There'll be no return
To the familiar dark rooms
Where I’ve been.

Held back by my own expectations
All I think I should be
It is hard to imagine
How I would look
Unshackled, free.

Oh! Tear the curtain down Lord!
Erase my sin!
Free me from those tainted laws
That bind my feet,
And bring me deeper in.

Listen to Me God!
Listen to me God!
I guess a woman hardly has the right
To address the Almighty
Like one of her children.
But I would just like to know
Why, when I ask for
The grace to treat others
As if You were the one
Delivering the goods,
I come so far short of doing it!

Do You watch me
With amusement or sadness in Your eyes
As I try to emulate Your ways
Like a bird with clipped wings to fly?
I just can’t imagine why,
When I try so hard in all sincerity,
I make such a mess of
Trying to follow You,
Like a child with legs too short
Stumbling in Your steps.

Forgive my boldness
But I really would like to achieve
That level of godliness
Reflecting You
That some of Your saints attain.
But the harder it gets as I try.
Is it that the path gets steeper
As I near the top ?
My weary heart asks
Am I close at all?

So hold me up Lord
I am tired from the climb
And my spirit thirsts
For answers from You.
There is nowhere else to turn.
And if the answers that You whisper in my ear
Are not clear for now
Help me to believe and follow
So that all my stumbling steps
Stay on Your path for me.

Joy

It is harder to write of joy
Than sorrow.
But one without the other
Is either
Heaven
Or Hell

To be filled with irrepressible
Delight
Is a pleasure known only
To long
Time
Lovers.

So do not strive too hard
For pleasure.
It comes unfettered
Only
In the
Hereafter.

Today

Today I got to do one thing
That I won’t regret.
Someone needed to feel
OK with themselves.
I think I helped.

I usually find my own ego
Getting in the way.
Lashing out like
A tripping vine
In the sometimes shady jungle of life.

Today I did it right!
I listened to your voice.
When and where I least expected
I saw your hand
At work in my busy day.